Right now it is exactly 2:00 AM and my children will be getting up in about 5 hours (give or take), ready and waiting for their breakfast. They will need diaper changes, fresh undies, clothes for the day, their lunches packed, and the assurance that I’m on top of everything and all they have to do is be kids. So, one might wonder why I’m up at this wee hour when all of this activity will be overwhelming me in about 5 hours. I’ve come up with a list of reasons for this all-nighter, and I’m 100% okay with my choice.
I got nothing done for ME this weekend.
It is now rolling into Monday morning, but besides somehow turning in all of my assignments for my 1 class this weekend (with one of them being past midnight on the due date), I did absolutely nothing of real significance for myself. I made myself take advantage of my husbands night-out on Friday night and disconnected from my social media accounts, business stuff, blog, and everything, so I could eat a guilt-free snack and watch a lifetime movie. Yes, a lifetime movie. But even that felt like a bit of a chore. It was 100% worth it, but it was hard to do when I knew I had things that NEEDED to be crossed off of my “To-do” list. It was necessary and I’m glad I did it, but it wasn’t enough. It was an hour an a half movie and the rest of the time my hubs was gone was spent trying to clean up (actually took a bath), and doing chores.
Friday was a long and rough day with my kids, and Saturday was similar. We had a really good day, but it was full of public pool fun, decision making, and money talks (ugh). It was already late by the time my kids were in bed and my household chores were done, and then I sat down to finish my reading for school and turn in my memory verse. I didn’t go to sleep until close to 1:00 AM only to be woken up by one of my children who has been trying to revert back to sleeping in my bed. I had a headache throughout the night, was hot, and couldn’t get comfortable. I was then woken up by an alarm that refused to quit singing to me, and then we were running late for church. We got there and it was fine, but even my “Peaceful” time during service, wasn’t peaceful. We’ve recently started taking our 2 oldest children to service and one of them wouldn’t stop talking to me and was clearly bored the entire time. Which is fine, I’m not upset that they were bored, but to be honest, I’m upset that every single one of my seconds from the last 3 days has been owned by somebody else. My kids, husband, chores, pets, school, or something or somebody else has owned each one of my moments and it drained me.
I refuse to go into tomorrow with a HUGE pile of laundry. I refuse to start this week with nothing on my personal to-do list done. I refuse to go into this week with things left undone from last week and with no plan for the things that need to be done this week. And you know what? Mommy needs Youtube too!
- I need to watch a video or two from “The Moms View”.
- I need to catch up on my favorite vlogs.
- I need to read a chapter in a book that I’m reading “Just because”.
- I need to schedule time with my friends that have nothing to do with a bible study or personal growth.
- I need to take a SHOWER and put on a facemask because I just realized I’m not 17 anymore and my skin matters.
- I need to pet my cats and hang out with my dog.
- I need to sip on a hot tea with just the right amount of honey because it’s good for your soul.
- I need to know that everybody has a great, cute, clean outfit to wear tomorrow.
- I need to be ready for this coming week, in my own way.
My mind, body, and soul, did not get the rest or rejuvenation they needed this weekend. I got glimpses (a bit at church, a bit Friday night, and a bit Saturday) but those glimpses almost made the situation worse. It was like giving a starving person one bite of pizza once a day for 3 days. Give me the whole pizza or I’d rather starve! (I wouldn’t really rather starve. I’m just trying to prove a point through dramatic declarations.)
I spend a lot of time on personal growth and “Momprenueing”. I need to watch the occasional “CTFXC” vlog to get my mind right.
Because I needed these videos. These seconds to myself. The peaceful, beautiful, uninterrupted quiet as I fold laundry.
Colette is me right now you guys. So me.
This because I just like watching Sterling K Brown talk. He’s mesmerizing!
And when the heck else would I have time to watch and analyze this video for the 30th time? Is he an abusive father figure? Does he represent depression? And what is his workout regimen?!
And how else would I have run on to this gem?
I would rather be completely caught up on my chores, completely happy with where I am in my reading, and feeling rejuivinated in my soul, and COMPLETLEY exhausted, than going into tomorrow exhusted anyways with the stress of feeling incomplete.
Things I took away from my night:
I need a good anti aging cream. My. Good. Lord. My neck makes me look like I’m about 46 years old (which wouldn’t be so bad if I wasn’t only 27!). Y’all. I sell Avon. Why is this an issue for me? Ugh. Me. SMH.
Also, addressing the “Buy me a coffee” button I have. I’ve been told it looks “Beggerish”. … That’s because it is. I am literally begging you. *Will dance for coffee*. I can’t make it more clear. There is no subtly with this. I need coffee, I have limited funds, and I need coffee. If you feel compelled, buy me one. If you don’t, don’t. I’ll probably like you or dislike you just the same. … Though the coffee would sway me.
I have about 2 and a half hours left at this point, and it’s flying by. I needed this and I can’t wait to start my day with my babies. Life is good, and sometimes, you just need an all-nighter.
I talk a lot, I love connecting with other people, and occasionally I say something worth hearing. I’d hate for you to miss out.
Love your blogger,
Lauren of HildysHome