Hello world, and welcome to my 27th birthday. I turn 27 in a few short hours, and in light of this major event, I have had a lot on my mind. But in short, I’m so happy! I am grateful to be here and to have made it another year. I am grateful I have people to celebrate with and people who care enough to give me gifts, cards, love, and make donations to my favorite causes.
Why is 27 such a huge deal for me?
My 27th is a birthday I’ve been looking forward to since my 22nd birthday. I was getting closer and closer to giving birth to my 2nd child at that time, and my heart suddenly became overwhelmed with adoption. After I had my daughter, I was full of so much joy and love that I couldn’t stand the idea that there were children out there without a mother or fathers love.
I had always had a heart for children and orphans, but having my daughter changed me in that I didn’t just feel for the orphaned, but I knew it was in Gods plan for me to adopt.
Now, for you non-Christians, it will be hard to understand what I’m saying when I say “God told me”. It’s best compared to intuition. When you just “Know” something.
I prayed about adoption and became more and more convinced and motivated that it was something we needed to do. I became a part of many adoption communities online, and I found Reese’s Rainbow and Maya’s Hope through this prayer and research process. Eager as I was, God said: “Wait”. I asked God “How long?” and He said, “Wait until you’re 27”. Honestly, that felt like a lifetime away, but boy it’s snuck up on me. I can’t believe it’s here!
At the time, God saying “Wait” was hard to accept. There were so many waiting children (and one girl in particular) who were after my heart. We had the most money we’ve ever had, and had just been pre-approved for a home loan and began house hunting. We were connected in a church and growing there, our kids were happy and healthy, and things seemed to be going well for us. I couldn’t understand why God might have us wait. But I knew that’s what He had asked. Sometimes, you hear God speak to you clearer and you’re more assured that it’s Him than others. I have no doubt in my mind that God said: “Wait until 27”.
Shortly after my daughters first birthday, we were forced to move because of a home that had been left to my husband. The mortgage was our responsibility and we had been unable to sell the home because of the market crash years earlier. It had yet to get close to what we needed out of it and our renters were leaving us high and dry with little notice. It was in bad shape and needed a lot of work, so renting it out again was out of the question. This house cost use thousands upon thousands of dollars, some of which we didn’t have.
Our marriage began to suffer and old wounds resurfaced. We had very little money. My husband took a pay cut due to the move, and we had 2 more children. Every time we thought we could get “Caught up”, something else would happen. A water heater would break, the dishwasher quit working, the electric wiring began melting on itself, the carpet was beyond repair and old, the showers didn’t work, and so on. Ages 23-26 were the most stressful of my adult life thus far.
No way could we have successfully adopted a child at that time. God knows all, and that experience (as difficult as it was), has caused me to grow in so many ways, one of which is my faith and trust in him. I have always been good with money, but I understand it’s fierce power much more now.
Now that I’m 27 and we are starting to make solid headway (we bought a house last year with a 10% down payment in a great location and have paid off right at $15,000 in the last 9 months!), I am beginning to seriously consider adoption again. My husband and I both want a 5th child and we both want to adopt. But I can tell you right now, he is not going to do well when we get to the paperwork. Ha!
Right now, I am trying to learn to enjoy the moment. I live so much for the future, that I miss so much of the present. We have already made some great friends here, are more involved in church as a family than we ever have been, and our kids are in great schools. But we still have plenty of bumps to smooth out. We have a significant amount of debt we’re chipping away at, we need to significantly add to our savings, and to be honest, our marriage needs more work. We’ll never be perfect, but unless God screams at me otherwise, adoption is still in the future. But now at 27 I see clearer and can actually begin planning for adoption. I haven’t been able to plan for much of anything in the last 4 years. So #thankful.
Happiness is the years I’ve lived. Happiness is the time with my kids that I will be having tomorrow (they are more excited for my birthday than I am! <3). Happiness is the amazing coffee crunch cake from Cold Stone that I allowed myself to order for my special day. Happiness, above all for me, is keeping God close and getting closer to Him.
I’m thankful for many things, and I cannot wait to celebrate tomorrow! SO many blog plans for the year ahead. I’m changing it up a bit to count down to my 30th ;).
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Hildy’s Home (Lauren)